Sunday, August 24, 2008
Ever wondered what happens when
Hallmark writers are having a bad day?
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
'What the hell was I thinking?'
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you,
Have such an ugly baby?
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
© Copyright 2006 - 2012, James H. Shott